Men with the courage are also men with stronger wives.

I can't even imagine ever saying goodbye to you. You were not the first guy i have ever loved, but i certainly know I want you to be my last. You mean everything to me, and I sincerely don't know how i'm going to deal with you being away so much. I see these women, "army wives", who have hope, but they wait everyday to see a goverment car pull up, and two uniformed men walk to their door. They know what to expect, and I really don't want to. I was happy when you kept getting new job after new job, but I know how much being in the military means to you...So if it makes you happy, then thats ok. I'll live with it. But I want you to know with everything I have, I love you so.

There's young, younger, and youngest.

Sure, yesterday, im sure i sounded intelligent, and im sure that it will never happen again. So, sorry if it dissapoints you, hah. Anyways, i'm tired of high school. I'm tired of having people say, you're so young, don't grow up. That is the one thing i've wanted to do for awhile. I want to grow up, move out of state, and live my own life. I'm tired of being told what to do, and I'm certainly tired of being told how I should feel. I want to move away and get rid of these people who supposedly love me, besides my boyfriend, I want to rid myself of everyone I know..Horrible, right? I'm just tired of being told, i love you, you're the best. Stop fucking lying, I know who and what I am, and I know that if you've left me then you don't love me. If I haven't talked to you in almost a month, you don't fucking love me. Get over yourself, it's not like I need you anyway.

Why do I act so shy forever hiding my face

Think what a huge force fear must have been. Imagine being out in the dark, alone in the elements. Fear, great enough to change the formation of all living things-eyes on the side, eyes in the front, protective coverings,spikes and venom. Other protections too-shyness and anxiety and superstitions-all remnants of fear. Rituals and raindances, gods and mythology. Living in groups...It goes on and on. Fear causes the greatest changes, when you think about it. Fear is a monumental force. Sometimes it can get drowned out by other things, Maybe it gets tweaked by people in your life. Urged in one direction. Sometimes that's just the way you come, or it gets broken...Nothing about me is broken, just in general. Sure, okay. Instincts are an awesome thing, but we dont have to be a prisoner to it, we choose too. What brought all of this to mind? I met someone. Not just someone, but someone. Im in love, and my insticnts are here and they are working fine. I just have my fear turned up a little loud. Like my stereo with too much bass. Makes it hard to hear the lyrics. I don't want to get hurt. How does a person stay safe, always? Lock myself away? Im looking for guarantee and there are no guarantees. If I love, i'll feel loss. I can't 'careful' myself into avoiding loss. I'm trying to get day without night. All the marshmellows without the cereal. Summer vacation without the school.